Do you want a death without dying?
Try telesales.

Death without the key benefit:
Unconsciousness

Just the no going back
Soul-flowing away
Ring-a-ring-a rigamortis

No official funeral
If your friends want free drinks
From your wages they must come

If given this choice and only this
I would prefer to live out
The dying death

Feel a little something
Before the eternal stretch

Give fewer the call
They never wanted to receive.