You know what pisses me off about Draw Something? PEOPLE. Stupid, lazy fucking people.

For those that don’t know (are you serious?), Draw Something is the latest app to make people drop their yoghurt. It’s basically Pictionary without the time limit – hang on a minute. How did they get away with that?! Maybe we should all take a popular board game, remove something fairly unimportant and make an app. It’s the modern day get-rich-quick scheme.

Anyway, back to the people. The fucking people. The people that think it’s ok to draw ‘table’ because ‘dandruff’ is too tricky. Just draw a Head and Shoulders bottle! We could earn 3 coins! I may take it a little too seriously. I tend to avoid (or delete) my best friends if they pick a one coiner, or draw something so ludicrously abstract I waste half an hour crying with rage, frantically pressing the shuffle letters button. They don’t deserve me.

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve become a master at this game. OK, a master of half this game. People come to me to help them guess because of the idiots I’m used to playing. But drawing is in my top 3 weakest skills (my girlfriend can tell you the others). But I try, I really try (go on, ask her). I look at my drawings before I send them and smile. I even draw them in a way that makes it easier to guess quickly so you don’t waste your precious time.

That’s all I ask from fellow players. Fucking DRAW something, don’t waste my time. Be considerate, it’s a team game.

That reminds me, I need to draw Shrek for my shrink.

Lewis Bish