For a while I spent a few hours waiting for the black car like a child looking for his separated parent out the window on the Saturday morning of their time with them.

I muddied about a bit and tried best as I could to not let the thoughts of the black car interfere with my day and was absolutely unsuccessful.

Instead, I meandered and remembered my first lies and why.

I believe I was 6 and I stole a pen with a clock in it, which at that time was as shiny as the shiniest of things and I wanted it and she had it so I took it and when asked I denied it and then hid it badly. It fell off the top of the Hacker record player on which was also Madness.

I gave it back and for a WEEK was not very popular really.

I thought about the times I have waited at the window for a parent, partner, delivery driver, post person, friend and enemy, but never before a black car and yet here it was drawing noise from the gravel on the drive leading to the place where I imagined it to be for so long.

I walked from the window hurriedly and pretended I hadn’t seen it coming before it could see.

Donuts

Light, bouncy, wheel-like form, soft buttery flesh, tongue-tingling sweetness, speedily morphing from solid-sticky-sponge to warm-liquid-goo, gliding down, throat coated in sugar film. Bringing warmth to the belly, a twinkle to the eyes. Their soft, delicate bodies, resting, dented between thumb and forefinger – a reminder that all the things we love are fragile. Hold them carefully. Savour the love.

Looks young.
Iraq.
Looks old.

EXT. PECKHAM – NIGHT

A man runs behind another
man on a bike.

RUNNING MAN

Hey, that’s my bike!

BIKE MAN

No, it’s my bike. All the
bikes in Peckham are my bikes.

Monday – “I want to be more Carlos Tevez than Dimitar Berbatov about this.”

Tuesday – “There’s too much nebulousnessness about it.”

Wednesday – “I’ve never liked salt and vinegar, and I never understood people that do.”

Thursday – “The client wants to know what time it is.”

Friday – “I want to live in a commune. In Richmond. With separate kitchens and bathrooms.”

“CAN’T BELIEVE THERE IS NO DATABASE OF FILMS SORTED BY NUMBER OF SHARKS.”

Monday – “Company names should never have a comma in them. Ever. Ever.”

Tuesday – “There’s not enough gravy in modern media” 

Wednesday – “There are riots in the streets of Athens.” “Why? What’s going on?” “Probably something to do with rollneck sweaters!” “Hahahahahah.”

Thursday – “Oh my god I feel like I’m living in 2009.”

Friday – “We are really looking forward to having you in the meeting. But unfortunately we’re unable to have you in the meeting.”

Monday – “Erm, so budget cuts. I’m afraid we no longer need you. Sorry.”

Tuesday – (nothing overheard)

Wednesday – (nothing overheard)

Thursday – (nothing overheard)

Friday – (nothing overheard)

I
like
Brian.
Trouble
is,
I
prefer
his
wife.

MC = main colour
CC = contrast colour
STS = stitches
K = knit
P = purl

With 4mm needles and DK yarn, cast on MC 24 STS.

Row 1:
MCK all STS.

Row 2:
MCP all STS.

Row 3:
MCK4, CCK1, MCK2, CCK1 repeat.

Row 4:
CCP2, MCP6, repeat.

Row 5:
MCK5, *CCK2, MCK6* repeat from * to * until last 3 STS, CCK2, MCK1.

Row 6:
CCP6, MCP2 repeat.

Row 7:
MCK1,CCK2, MCK1, CCK4 repeat.

Row 8:
CCP5, *MCP2, CCP6* from *to* until last 4 STS, MCP2, CCP1.

Row 9:
CCK1, *MCK2, CCK6* repeat from *to* until last 7 STS, MCK2, CCK5.

Row 10:
MCP2, CCP2, MMP6* repeat from *to* until last 6 STS, CCP2, MCP4.

Repeat rows 3 to 10, 4 more times.

MCK all STS.
MCP all STS.

Cast off. Block and dry.

Potatoes 2.0

A load of fuck all.

Monday – “Instead of ‘shiny’ can we say ‘clothy’?”

Tuesday – “I love that we can write the word burger without it seeming sexual.”

Wednesday – “Sean Locke has got the most amazing new van.”

Thursday – “Can we find a more friendly image of Polyester?”

Friday – “I like to image that holes lead to magical places, not blobs of shit or flesh.”

A big ditch in the desert.

Mould

Monday – “Nooooo, Jenny’s allergic to tofu!”

Tuesday – “The narrator isn’t an entity.” “But he says ‘me’…”. “That’s an omnipresent ‘me'”.

Wednesday – “Is that a sausage windsurfing?”

Thursday – “The client wants it smaller than this but not as small as the next size down”

Friday – “I had six kittens this morning. One was breach.”

The story was born
On a tarmac lawn
Where six best friends
Spent their summer end

On holiday in Spain
Over the Mediterranean they came
They spoke of their hopes and dreams
And what little it all means

If only we could be childish
Children that can wish
And believe in magic
And never get sick

Then we could live in dreams
Where nothing is as it seems
And everything is what it’s not
And all our troubles forgot

In-between sleeping and waking
Imagination waking
Reality adieu
Ubuntu.

Iran-Iraq War ’80 – ’88
1,000,000 dead

Soviet War in Afghanistan ’79 – ’89
2,000,000 dead

Rwandan Genocide ’94
1,000,000 dead

Srebrenica Massacre ’95
38,000 dead

Yugoslav War ’92 – ’95
100,000 dead

East Timorese Genocide ’75 – ’99
80,000 dead

Eritrean-Ethiopian War ’98 – ’00
70,000 dead

Angolan Civil War ’75 – ’02
500,000 dead

Algerian Civil War ’92 – ’02
200,000 dead

2nd Congolese War ’98 – ’03
5,400,000 dead

2nd Sudanese Civil War ’83 – ’05
2,000,000 dead

Sri-Lankan Civil War ’83 – ’09
100,000 dead

Darfur Conflict ’03 – ’10
400,000 dead

Mexican Drug War ’06 – present
35,784 dead

Columbian Civil War ’64 – present
300,000 dead

Somali Civil War ’91 – present
400,000 dead

Falun Gong Genocide ’99 – present
162,000 dead

To be continued…

Not a real man!
Not a real man.
You scream and lurch
a bad impression.
2000 pounds!
2000 pounds
of clumsy metal
on a mound of hamstrung meat.
We crushed within our hands:
The last children’s entertainer
The last breakfast DJ
The last fat child.

I HAD
SO-CALLED NORMAL RELATIONSHIPS
WITH A
NUMBER OF TERRESTRIAL WOMEN HAVING PUMPKINS
OR PEARS
FOR BREASTS.

Jim Morrison gets drunk.
Jim Morrison gets high.
Jim Morrison gets fat.
Jim Morrison has a bath.

Silent winter cloud.
Throwing off your cold blanket
I sleep with one sheet.